


the lady is a vamp

by mygalfriday (BrinneyFriday)



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 15:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1392397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrinneyFriday/pseuds/mygalfriday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As much as River loves any and every version of her husband, she’s grown to dread the adventures when he and Amy barely know her. He’s surly and obstinate and at times, downright resentful. When he’s this young, it’s hard to imagine he ever falls in love with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the lady is a vamp

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this quote by Matt Smith: "I think the Doctor actually loves River in a way he sort of doesn’t love anyone else. I mean, River’s a space vixen."

As much as River loves any and every version of her husband, she’s grown to dread the adventures when he and Amy barely know her. He’s surly and obstinate and at times, downright resentful. When he’s this young, it’s hard to imagine he ever falls in love with her.

 

But she pastes on a smile, just as she always does, and refuses to let any weakness in her armor show through. At least not until he walks away, Amy trotting along at his side. It’s still so odd not having her father around. Rory would have seen what she tried to hide and he might not have said a word, but even one understanding glance from her dad would do her a world of good right now. They’re all just so _young_.

 

River lets her shoulders droop and her head drop the moment they’re out of sight. Her husband loves her – _more than the universe, Rivah_ he loves to proclaim when he’s under the influence of her lipstick. She knows he does. Even so, she can’t help but wonder how. How does this mistrusting babyface turn into her soppy, nostalgic idiot?

 

She wonders if she’s doing it right – if she’s giving him too much space or not enough, if she should flirt more or less. There’s no way of knowing what will push him away and what eventually makes him fall. Maybe she doesn’t have to do anything. She never had to before – her Doctor has always been putty in her hands. It has been difficult to discover that from his perspective, that hasn’t always been the case.

 

Taking a deep breath, River squares her shoulders and lifts her chin, slinking into hiding but managing to find a position where spotting intruders will be easy enough. She flips on her two-way communicator so she’ll be able to alert the Doctor and Amy quickly and drops her other hand to her gun holster. The idiot may have relegated her to lookout but she’ll be damned if she lets anything get past that door, whether he likes it or not.

 

“I just don’t understand why you have to be so grumpy with her.”

 

Amy’s voice crackles over the line and River jumps, scrambling to turn down the volume as the Doctor replies petulantly, “I’m not grumpy with her.”

 

River bites her lip, hesitant to eavesdrop – those who do rarely hear good things about themselves. But if she turns the communicator off, she won’t be able to contact them or they her… she lifts it to her ear and listens.

 

Amy scoffs. “You snap at her, glare at the back of her head and I swear you almost stamped your foot ten minutes ago.”

 

“Well,” he flounders, clearly scowling. “She’s maddening. Always showing up with her ruddy spoilers and trouble at her heels.”

 

“You _like_ trouble!”

 

“Not her kind of trouble! It’s all running in high heels and stealing priceless artifacts and sexy guns and snogging!”

 

Snorting, Amy says, “River’s not snogging you – _oh_. Is that what’s got you in a mood, Raggedy Man? River’s snogging all the guards for us with her magic lipstick and you’re feeling left out, are you?”

 

River claps a hand over her mouth and shuts her eyes, mortified. Oh, Mother.

 

The Doctor splutters. “What? Don’t be ridiculous! River can snog whomever she likes. Why should I care what she does?”

 

“Because she’s Mrs. Doctor from the future.”

 

He heaves a sigh. “Amy -”

 

“It’s okay to be jealous your wife is snogging other people, Doctor.”

 

“I am not jealous!”

 

Amy huffs. “Then why are you being so mean to her?”

 

The Doctor pauses and River holds her breath, listening to them walk in silence for a long moment. “I’m not trying to be mean, Pond. It’s… complicated.”

 

Amy hums thoughtfully. “She scares the hell out of you, doesn’t she?”

 

“A bit, yeah.”

 

River stifles a smirk.

 

“But a good kind of scared, yeah?”

 

“Like a sailor about to be drowned by a mermaid,” he mutters sourly. “Now can we please focus on -”

 

“Don’t change the subject on me, Raggedy Man,” Amy snaps. “Not until you admit you like River.”

 

“Blimey, you’re like a dog with a bone, Pond.”

 

“And _you’d_ like to bone River.”

 

River winces, hoping Amy does not remember this conversation later to save them both some embarrassment.

 

“I would not!” He stammers. “She’s infuriating!”

 

“Yeah, and you like it. You _like_ that she drives you mad and flies your ship and knows more than you do -”

 

The Doctor squawks. “She most certainly does not know more than -”

 

“She definitely does,” Amy interrupts, sounding gleeful. “And you think it’s _hot_.”

 

He chokes. “Amelia -!”

 

“You have no idea how to deal with it, do you? You act like a boy on the playground pulling her pigtails. Have you ever been on a date before?” She giggles. “Poor Doctor, you’re like a space monk.”

 

“Oi! I’ve had plenty of -”

 

“Don’t want to know, thanks!” Amy interrupts with a cringe River can picture perfectly. “But this is different and you know it. River is different.”

 

The Doctor sighs. “River is -”

 

“Unique? Special? Your outer space mate?”

 

“Pond!”

 

“Just admit it, already, Doctor. You want to snog her and take her out for dinner in some weird restaurant on Venus or something. You _like_ her-”

 

The Doctor growls low in his throat and bursts out, “Of course I like her! She’s clever and dangerous and all curvy-wurvy. The woman is a bloody space vixen! What Time Lord in his right mind wouldn’t fancy her?”

 

River’s hearts swell and she curls her fingers tightly around her communicator, beaming widely.

 

 “You fancy River!” Amy squeaks. “I knew it!”

 

She can almost _see_ the Doctor’s blush as he mumbles, “Oh, shut up. And don’t you dare tell her I said that, Amelia Pond.”

 

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll have to. You get all that, River?”

 

River chuckles softly. “Loud and clear. Thank you, Amy.”

 

“Wha – _Pond_!” The Doctor wails. “River, I didn’t mean -”

 

“Oh, don’t try and take it back now. You’ll hurt my feelings.” River grins. “I’m ever so flattered, sweetie. I had no idea.”

 

He sighs, sounding resigned, and River can hear the smile in his voice as he says, “Oh, I think you knew, River Song.”

 

“Most of it,” she admits smugly. “But space vixen is a new one.”

 

He groans. “I really hate you.”

 

River lounges against the wall behind her to keep watch with a grin, absolutely confident in her reply. “No, you really don’t.”


End file.
